hai!! dah lama sangat tak update...i miss borak-borak crita masalah moody-moody kat sini...sebab cam sini lah tempat nak luah tak puas hati ke ape ke..hehe..actually i wanted to post something about how i feel lately and what i'm preparing for the next semester (chheewaahhh) but i think i can do that later. since i have another 3 days before i go back to Gombak...(sob sob T__T) so i think i can always do it tomorrow or lusa. anyway, what i want to share with you tonight while waiting for the clock to ring 12am (sbb nak register subjek) is about...one step at a time.
when we get older, our problems got bigger. when you small, all you care about is whether your pencil colours are enough or not, buku dah baca ke belum, kerja skolah dah siap ke belum and of course, pukul berapa nak gi main ngan member nih?! and then when you get a bit older, masuk sekolah menengah, the problems got a bit bigger. kerja sekolah, gaduh dengan kawan, gaduh dengan senior, tak buat kerja sekolah, baju nak kena gosok, kasut nak kena basuh, SPM, PMR berapa nak score and of course, sape bf ko weyh? eh die suke kat aku ke x ha? yeah..puberty hits us all...time tu lah rasa nak bercinta macam org dewasa. rasa nak kenal lelaki, rasa nak bahagia even when the time is not right actually (some of us dah kapel even masa umur 10/12 tahun lagi..-_-)
and then, bila dah abes SPM when you're 18...you feel like you're a bigger person now. dah dewasa, you know and you can make your own decision..others don't matter even your parents. what matter is YOU. then bila dah masuk tempat belajar, mula lah nak kenal kehidupan baru. jauh dari family, kenal dengan kawan-kawan baru, suasana baru, pembelajaran baru, TITLE baru (mahasiswa cheewaahhh!), CULTURE SHOCK, meronggeng sana-sini..sebok pikir pasal pointer and duit...
when you hit 21...you got matured a bit. supposedly lah...but i'm sure most of us belum pon matured lagi..my sister said " tuuu dah nak masuk tahun ketiga tapi perangai macam 13 tahun". my nephew yg 16 tahun even said this to his mother (my other sis) " eish..tengok la mak. maktin tu tak macam 21..macam 15 eh tak 16 tahun...da la lari camtu" and my sis replied by saying " haha die tu kurang masak"... being the youngest, you can't help from being manja with your family. even when outside you are an independent person, inside the family, you still will act childishly. i'm sure i'm not the only one with this problem..i'm sure you too. at home, my best friend is adam (1 year). he likes to smile whenever he sees me cause i think he thinks that look! my friend is here! i can play now! and my forever-fighting friend is najihah (3 years old). i fight with her every single day. it's either she hits me first or i hit her first. either way, we fight over small things. sometimes the "small things" make me slam my door cause i get too angry. when i tell this to my mother or sister, they said i'm silly cause..dengan budak kecik pun nak gaduh. die kecik lagi..tak reti apa-apa. kena la paham..to which i reply "kecik-kecik la kena ajar...entah ape die belajar kat rumah pengasuh die tu".
anywaysss got carried away lah pulak! =P when you hit 21 years old, you are officially an adult now. only NOW can you make the right decision for yourself, boleh la nak kapel pon secara official dan lain-lain,. 21 tu lesen besar beb nak buat benda jahat atau baik..u choose. dah boleh pegi clubbing....kalau kena tangkap pun, polis dah tak inform parents. kan bagusss...=D anddd the problems got bigger than ever cause now, you are on your own. if you got problems with your friends, it's no longer setakat gaduh-gaduh kecik esok lusa baik semula, it's the fight that means this is it. you are no longer my fried forever! masa ni lah kalau kapel pun, it's no longer for fun but it's for real..sampai kawen kalau boleh. dan masa ni jugak lah, u have to start thinking seriously about your life, what you want to achieve in your life, what you want to be when you grad, what this and what that and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllll these questions, ONLY YOU can answer them.
tengokkk..penat kan? banyak benda nak kena fikir, banyak benda nak kena buat, banyak masalah nak kena selesai...and of course, money is always a problem. ye lah, dah kurang ability control duit (borossss) sbb duit semua pegang sendiri..bukan parents pegang dah. bukan parents kawal dah berapa banyak u spend or what or why you use that money...they trust you can handle the money on your own. and that's why, dorang tak tanya. I always thought that OMG ni lah masa yang paling berat, pening kepala banyak nak kena fikir..dengan masalah dengan kawan lagi, diri sndri lagi, belajar lagi, duit lagi, bla3...when actually, tonight i suddenly realized that NO, my problems are not that much compare to what my sisters are having now simply because, they are older and when you get older, your problems get bigger and bigger.
dorang ade family dorang sendiri yang dorang kena jaga. anak-anak, suami..pakaian makan-minum, barang-barang dapur, didik anak-anak, pelajaran anak-anak, hantar pegi sekolah, pegi kerja, masalah kat pejabat, masalah kat rumah, kereta rumah nak kena bayar, nak simpan duit untuk ank-anak, duit lagi dan lagi dan seribu macam masalah lagi. and bukan family dorang JE yang dorang kena jaga, family mertua. adik-beradik ipar, adik-beradik sendiri, mak bapak sendiri, mak bapak mertua, kena jaga hati orang tu, hati orang ni..masalah orang lain pun jadik masalah kita jugak, masalah adik-beradik kita pon masalah kita, masalah anak2 pon masalah kita dan macam2 lagi...rasanya kalau tulis pun x abes. sebab sangat banyak..
so i guess, one step at a time lah. i'm not ready mentally and physically to handle all these family matters and stuff. i can only dengar dan angguk je la when there are problems happen in our family sbb i have no power to do anything or to say anything. i'm just 21. i'm not old enough to give out wise opinions cause heyy, saya baru je nak merasa alam dewasa ini...hehehehe...
so overall, i think it's important to enjoy your youth while you still can (bukan buat benda jahat). to experience new things when you are still capable of doing it. to go exploring exciting places and meet new people. enjoy every second of your youthness cause when you old, at least you will have no regret about not trying it. kan?
=D
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